Impatience...

Hi everyone, Ash here 


This week has been a bit of a rollercoaster of moods for me. I've been up and down like a jack-in-the-box, between feeling absolutely amazing, to really tired and unmotivated. The latter has taken some getting used to because the past few months have been filled with so much excitement and change, I haven't really been able to even note what kind of mood I've been in most of the time! Work has been really busy (which is amazing when you are starting your own business - it's a good 'problem' to have!) and Sam and I have been trying to squeeze in moments to focus on SMASH. These haven't been as many as we would have liked because, in-between managing a personal training business, I've been running whenever I can in preparation for the London Marathon in 2 weeks and Sam has been studying for the final part of her degree that finishes in May! I guess I have found it frustrating that we haven't been able to grow SMASH in the way I would have liked because of necessary commitments elsewhere and I have allowed that to affect my mood. 


But here is the thing... 


We launched 2 brand new SMASH classes over the past 2 months, we've grown our social media following a little, we have successfully transitioned both our personal training businesses in to SMASH London Personal Training, launched the secret SMASH class for personal training clients, had our 2nd SMASH party booking, celebrated the new logo, got new training tops and business cards designed and made, had enquiries come through the website in regards to personal training and SMASH classes, had lovely messages from the community telling us how much SMASH has improved their physical and/or mental well-being...


What more do I want?! 


Dare I say it...


I want it all.


Everything that I want in the future, I want now. Yesterday, even!


I have always been impatient. It's mainly because of impatience that I have most of the 'chatter' - positive and negative - taking place in my mind. I have all these ideas that I'm willing to work for, I just want the results faster! This is normally what causes my anxiety because, when something doesn't happen as soon as I'd like, I begin to question 'what I did wrong', 'am I doing this right', 'will it ever happen'...


This is where Mindfulness has helped me massively in the past 5 years. I will always be impatient, I have accepted that. I don't judge myself for it because impatience has helped me achieve some great things. It's also held me back at times, or created some self-sabotage, but I choose to let that go and do my best not to dwell on it. When possible, I approach something new with a beginners mind, even when impatience starts 'chatting' at me, and trust that all good things take time. It helps to focus on non-striving, to breathe and know that today and this moment is so important to make my future the best it can be, I have to be present. And when it comes to impatience... I practise patience! I understand it's something that I consider a negative trait but, actually, impatience has actually helped me in many ways by making me work hard! By being patient with my impatience, I've learnt that, at times, I have to let my impatience wear itself out naturally. Being mindful of my impatience means that I recognise it and I allow it, but I don't let it consume me and become me. It's part of me...but just a small part.


Do you have a trait that you feel is your 'weakness' or 'flaw'? What would happen if you approached it with understanding, kindness and patience? Could you celebrate this part of you? It doesn't mean that we can't work on being better at what we feel may bring out our 'worst side', or traits that make us stressed, sad or low in energy, but we can learn to embrace the parts of our character that need working on and nurture them to keep them in check. Understand that this is often a lifelong commitment and, with focus, it will get better... all in its own time. And even then, it will still likely be a small part of you. After all, no one is perfect and, at the end of the day, who wants to be?...


Actually, don't get me started on that! Perfectionism, that's an email for another day 


Keep smiling