Hi everyone, Ash here 🌈
Most of the time Sam and I have a good idea as to what we want to write about each week, but this week I wasn't sure...Then I had a discussion with a lovely personal training client of mine about decision making and, the next day the Daily Calm on the Calm app was titled Indecision, so I decided the Universe was telling me something!
How long does it take for you to make a decision? I'm not talking about choices on a menu or what to watch on Netflix (although the Netflix dilemma is a serious issue in my household 😆). I'm talking about serious choices - job promotions or changes, relationships, our well-being...
Whenever we are faced with the challenge of change or decision making our initial reaction can be tinged with anxiety and an initial response of 'no'. Thousands of years ago our ancestors relied on habits and routine to stay alive. It kept them out of dangerous situations and from eating the wrong foods. Doing what they always did kept them much safer than taking risks, and this is why our brains are still hard wired to think this way. Of course, the world we are in now is very different and, although habits and routine are beneficial in some ways, in others they can prevent us from thriving.
It's understandable that some decisions are important and can't be made 'on a whim'. We often talk about following our 'gut instinct' but sometimes our 'gut instinct' goes back to that hard wired thinking of staying safe so, at times, you have to let that initial gut feeling pass, weigh up some options, offer reasoning and understanding and then see what your 'gut feeling' is pointing to! However, this doesn't mean you should spend too long doing this. Often, when we take too long, we follow the path of staying safe and secure - doing everything we've always done.
An example of this came last month when I was asked to be on the panel for the Qmmunity podcast 'Bodies'. My gut lurched with nerves and my initial response in my head was "absolutely not!" What if I said the wrong thing? I've never done a podcast! Does my opinion really matter that much? These thoughts buzzed around in my head for around 20 seconds (and I was stood in front of the creator of the Qmmunity podcast so I dread to think what my face looked like as my brain took in all these insecurities!). And then my sensible voice took over. Of course my opinion mattered, talking about bodies and our mental health is what I do! There was a chance I could muddle my words up, but I was going to talk about a subject very important to me so the chances were slim! It was time to take myself out of my comfort zone so, within one minute of chatting, I practised what I preach and said yes when my comfort zone wanted me to say no!
Now, as I mentioned above, indecision is something that needs to be taken very seriously with some decisions. When talking to my client about the possibility of a job promotion she had been put forward for, I asked her what the benefits were to staying where she was verses taking the promotion. By the end of the 10-minute conversation it became more obvious that the promotion was a chance worth taking - and she had been thinking about this for 3 weeks!
Take decisions seriously but don't use precious energy agonising over them, often we go over the same thoughts again and again and again. Always be reasonable, but also remind yourself that our very nature dictates that we stay safe where we are. This worked for us thousands of years ago, but the risks are not the same in the 21st century! You will never know for certain if you are doing the right thing - we can't predict the future (although we waste lots of time trying to!). After careful consideration, deep down, you'll know what you need to do. It's completely up to you if you decide to act upon it...
"Indecision steals many years from many people who wind up wishing they'd just had the courage to leap" - Doe Zantamata
Sometimes we need to leap, we have to be brave.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Sam and Ash